How to become a pseudo intellectual : A beginner's guide

STEP 1: Get admission in any Fuddu Course.

STEP 2: Grow your beard and hair.

STEP 3 : Wear khaadi kurta and Denim Jeans .

STEP 4 : Hang a Jhola bag on your shoulder .

STEP 5 : Wear a round spectacles .

STEP 6 : Put a copy of Economic Times in your bag (Date doesn't matter)

Yes , put a copy of Economic Times in your Jhola Bag and make sure it is visible from outside. Date doesn't matter even an old one is suitable for this purpose. It will help you too look like an intellectual in metro (if you are in Delhi) and if someone asks for your newspaper tell them you only share your condoms not newspaper. 

STEP 7 : Call yourself a left winger and an atheist. 

No matter whether you know the meaning of these two words but make sure you say this as often as you see your Orkut scraps and whatsapp last seen of your crush. 

Even if you are superstitious like Ekta Kapoor always say you don't believe in God.

STEP 8 : Get a twitter account.

If you don't have a Twitter account get it soon. Follow few great tweeps like Sri Sri 108 Ganja BaBa and his following tweeps. Never RT their tweets you just have to copy their tweets and post them on your Twitter , Facebook and Orkut accounts.

Make sure to write "RTs are not endorsement" and retweet whatever praises you are getting there.

Manual RT #PaidMedia Journalists and interact with them , tell them you loved their show even if you don't have their channel in your subscription pack :P.

STEP 9 : Abuse Narendra Modi and worship Rahul Gandhi 

on twitter.

Yes this is the most simplest and quickest way to get recognized as an Intellectual. Use the filthiest slag for Narendra Modi on twitter and if his fans criticise you for this call them SANGHI TROLLS. Kill their facts with 2002.

Whatever shit Rahul Gandhi speaks glorify it like he is the only one who can replace God from your life. This will help you to get RTs and even a follow back from Sanjay Jha and Gsurya . 

STEP 10 : Talk shits about Hindus and Hinduism. 
 Even if you don't have a scintilla of idea about Hinduism say shits about its Philosophy and call Hindus are responsible for Saffron Terror. Whoever argues with you call them "Internet Hindu".

He has Facts :: He is RSS agent. 
STEP 11 : Become a SUPER Feminist. 
No matter how many eve teasing , molestations and rapes cases you are having against you but in your group and especially on social media you must talk about women empowerment . 

Follow all hot chicks on Twitter , RT whatever they are tweeting , beg them for follow back , ask their number in DMs and if possible have few twitter fights for them. Never let them feel the absence of their pet dog on twitter.
See Taslima Nasreen's and other SUPER feminists handle for sample tweets.
                          

STEP 12 : Use English.

No matter how bad your English is but make sure you talk and tweet in English. Yeah, Cool, Fuck You , Screw You words are the only vocabulary you should have. You can read Chetan Bhagat novels and Rapidex English Speaking course for it.

                               

Follow these steps and so called Intellectuals will treat you as an Intellectual.